Saturday, February 9, 2008

Thoughts at 3:30 in the morning

I have been up since about 2. I went to bed at 10:30. Someone once asked (in a blog) what do you do when you are up at night? I either watch tv (can't tonight because of a Josh on the couch)- or go blogging. Tonight I've been to Cambodia with an English family, Sydney with a tourist from the US, taken a flower questionaire (what kind of flower are you? I'm a Daffodil), I've looked at lots of scrapbook pages, and babies. I've even visited with an LDS couple doing grad work in Columbus. That web site mentioned something I hadn't heard about before. Some of you with Utah connections probably have heard about this- The Hinkley Challenge. It is the challenge to read the Book of Mormon in 97 days. The concept is to merge the age of Pres Hinkley when he died (97) with his challenge of reading the Book of Mormon. It is a good motivator I think. And I think there is something to be said about 'speed reading' the Book of Mormon every once in a while, too. I think you can get the big picture and successive events a little more clearly than when you stop and study. I said every once in a while, I know we are cautioned to really ponder what we read, and I truely believe that- I'm just saying that it helps me chronologically when I keep going. I need to do this.
There was a milestone in my family this week. My oldest son turned 21. I took him and his girlfriend out to lunch. When I think of all my failings as a mother, I think of how I've failed Joey. He is a tall, good looking young man with a terrific smile and quiet persona if he doesn't know you. He is very funny with a quick dry wit when he feel comfortable around someone. He has always been my most challenging. I don't know how he spends his time, or who his friends are. He moved out about 4 years ago. It was too hard on him to move here from Eastgate. He never finished school (this is ONE of my regrets). I'm afraid of how he earns money -he seems to have it, but doesn't seem to work at anything specifically. He has always been a fence-walker, keeping just inside the right side. This last year he got too close to the wrong side and got himself into some trouble and was in jail for about 3 weeks. I still can't believe I have a son who was handcuffed and put in jail. Katy and I visited him while he was there. I missed an Enrichment meeting to see him once. It was a culture shock. I feel like at some point I must have given up on him. I keep praying. For both of us.