For some reason, I've been considering writing a final blog.
It seems to me that I either complain (and whine) or brag about what is going on with my family. I know that a couple of you write blogs as journal entries. This concept puts even greater pressure on me to write more often, and include EVERYthing that is going on. All I need right now is more guilt about what I am not doing.
Maybe it is just the time of year. Christmas (actually- from Thanksgiving to Christmas) it the most stressful time of my year. Work is more stressful and more physically demanding. And I have 2 jobs. One I work at 5 days a week, the other I work in the evenings and some weekends. The kids have even more activities to go to, and even the 'normal' activities seem to become more challenging. Putting up a tree and decorations is hard to schedule, let alone, making cookies or sending cards. Even getting all the kids together for a gift exchange and dinner has been a scheduling nightmare with family, grandparents, out-of-town parents thrown into the mix.
I sat in church with Bari on Sunday, and said "I think I need an attitude adjustment". To my surprise, he agreed.
Then 2 things caught my attention during the talks. First, Emily said something about her testimony being very simple for a long time. Well, maybe 'simple' isn't the right word- but something on the line of - not being complicated. Wow- i was right there- I don't have a big - giant - complicated testimony. And I have worried about that. I wondered if I wasn't pushing myself enough, not stretching enough, not challenging myself to learn more. - Ok. more guilt. When is all this going to happen? Where am I going to find time to study more? Oops- more guilt.
Then, Jamie gave her talk. She said that all we can do is all we can do, and that is enough. Wow again, I really needed that. Right now, I am so overwhelmed that I can't even allow myself the thought of feeling guilty.
On the way home from church, I was alone in the car and just started thinking over the whole day. I came to the conclusion that there are times when I can't do one more thing. Not one. This seems to be one of those times. I could write a list of all the responsibilities that I have, that I don't act on. This makes me feel like a horrible person , that I am letting down so many people, I feel like a hypocrite.
Yea, maybe I need to stop blogging for a while.
See? Whine or brag. Either way is isn't pretty.
Ok- in a couple of days I'll write another blog, and it will be about my blessings.
4 comments:
If writing on your blog helps to relieve some of the pressure, then by all means keep it up. You can whine or complain or celebrate as much or as little as you want- we're all just happy to get an update on your life and know that we can leave a little comment here to (hopefully) brighten your day.
I don't think a blog is meant to be something that you feel you're "supposed" to do... it should be something you do because you enjoy it or it helps in some way. Although I kinda use mine as a journal I'm not worried if I go a week or two without posting. Some weeks I have time, others I don't.
It looks like I'm writing an entire post on yours with how long I'm going on! I just want you to know how much I enjoy hearing what's going on in your life... even when it's stressful and busy and messy.
Let me know if you want help with baking or decorating or anything- you know I'd be happy to have any excuse to get together with you!
Keep hanging in there!
Don't quit! It's YOUR blog! Write whatever you like! I personally don't think you whine or brag. These are the "highlights" and "lowlights" of life...you'll want to remember them. I hope you can find a day or two to really enjoy the holiday next week!
I can always find guilt and inadequacy in my own life as well. I am bad at updating my blog too but I love reading about whats going on with your family.
Stay, stay, stay! I would miss reading what you're up to! Sometimes blog reading is the only way I know what's going on with people as Sundays seem to be too busy to catch up. I hope you get to enjoy the holidays to their fullest with your family. Merry Christmas!
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